Be A Good Friend!

Background passages 1 Samuel 17-23
Key verses: 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19:1-2, 4-7; 20:41-42; 23:16-18

This week’s lesson focuses on the friendship that Jonathan (King Saul’s son and therefore, prince of Israel) and David shared. In studying their relationship, we can see some of the qualities needed to be a good friend. Check out the entertaining video below set to the Randy Newman song “You’ve got a friend in me.” (Warning: this video scores extremely high on the cuteness scale and will definitely make you want to visit the humane society!).


In 1 Samuel 17, David confronts and slays the Philistine warrior Goliath. Goliath was over 9 feet tall, wore brass armour that weighed 125 pounds and wielded a spear with a shaft weighing 17 lbs and a spear head weighing 15 lbs! He was one big man. Nevertheless, as Israel’s army looked on, David courageously confronted and defeated the giant in the name of the Lord Almighty (17: 45). After meeting with King Saul following his victory, he is met by Jonathan.

1 Samuel 18:1-4
v. 1 Jonathan became one in spirit with David. The best friendships usually have a common interest. In this instance, both men loved the Lord. Jonathan had previously attacked the Philistines against overwhelming odds, having faith that God would give him victory (14:6). Here, Jonathan is deciding that David’s interest will be his interest. David’s desire will be his desire. They will work together toward a single goal and David will set the agenda (as is further evidenced by the gifts that he gives David).

Jonathan loved David as himself. Again, Jonathan will put David first throughout their friendship together. We are to do this habitually as Christians (Mt 22:39; Lk 10: 25-28; Romans 13: 9-10; Gal 5:14; James 2: 8-9) and it is a vital part of having a deep friendship.

v. 3 Jonathan and David made a covenant before the Lord. They valued their relationship and were serious enough about their commitment to each other that they implored God as a witness! We should take our friendships seriously. Are you a fair weather friend? Do other things come before your friends? Do you try to meet their needs only when it is convenient?

v.4 Jonathan gave David his robe (a royal robe) and his military equipment. Remember that at this point, Jonathan is the prince (even though David has been anointed by Samuel). This act is important because Jonathan is symbolically giving David a place of strength and power greater than his own. Jealousy and envy have no place in a good friendship. We should seek to honor our friends and promote their welfare even if it is at our own expense!

1 Samuel 19:1-2 Jonathan learns of his father’s order to kill David and warns David of the plot. He doesn’t just stop there either. He places himself in harms way for his friend.
A good friend will warn of danger. Our first commitment to our friends should be to share the gospel with them. We should warn them of danger if we know of it (wrong decisions that they are on the brink of making, information about children or family that they might find painful but still need to know, etc.). Part of this means holding a friend accountable for improper actions/ behavior. Proverbs 27: 6 says that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Sometimes, the truth hurts but a friend will provide it nonetheless.

1 Samuel 19:1-4
Jonathan defends David against the accusations that the king has made. A friend will defend. When we hear about gossip regarding others, do we join in or stand up for them? Do we stand up even when it could mean danger for us? Jonathan defends David not only in this encounter but also later while he and Saul are eating. During the second meeting, Saul actually tries to kill Jonathan because of Jonathan’s defense of David. Proverbs 16:28 says that a gossip separates close friends. Beware of it!

1 Samuel 20: 41 Here, Jonathan has given David the news that Saul is again angry and seeking to kill David. It is best for David to flee. They weep together. A good friend will feel the pain of the other, weep together, and provide comfort. Jonathan reminds David of their covenant friendship and this certainly must have been comforting to David. How lonely he must have felt as he hid among the rocks waiting for word from Jonathan. How fearful he must have been knowing that the king wanted him dead. Jonathan’s commitment must have helped. We need to express genuine emotion and provide comfort to our friends.

1 Samuel 23: 16-17 A friend provides encouragement. David is running for his life and is hiding in the desert. Jonathan goes to David and “helps him find strength in God.” Certainly, if most of us were in David’s place, our faith would be tried. Perhaps he was beginning to have doubts about God’s providence and protection. Here Jonathan encourages his faith and confidence that God’s plan for David to be king will be fulfilled. Jonathan could not immediately fix David’s present circumstance but he could bolster his friend’s soul. I am reminded of the physician’s prayer in my office (which Robin cross-stitched for me when I finished residency). It says that I will not be able to cure every medical problem that I encounter. However, I should always be able to improve the condition of the patient that I am treating. Sometimes, that improvement is emotional or spiritual. This is the role that Jonathan played here.

We need good Christian friendships in our life. In order to foster them, we should examine our commitment to our friends and not keep a "running tally" of their acts of service toward us. We need to be willing to put their interests above our own when we know that doing so is God’s will (just as Jonathan did). We need to demonstrate a willingness to protect, defend, comfort, and encourage our friends.

Pray for your friends this week and look for tangible ways that you can demonstrate your commitment to them today!

When Your Dreams Are Shattered...God Cares For You! (Class notes from 10/12/08)

Background Passage: 1 Samuel 15: 34 through 16: 7
A Story of Hope
Losing three members of her family (husband, father, uncle) in a two week period of time, Donna Lucado shares how her faith is sustaining her through the dark and confusing days of grief. Watch the video below.

All of us have dreams. Life is great when they are realized. However, frequently, life becomes hard with twists that we do not expect. Our hopes and our dreams for the present and the future are shattered; and we are thrown into despair.

Today, we are continuing our study of 1 Samuel. Last week, we read about Samuel's anointing of Saul as king. Imagine Samuel's excitement as he met and then anointed God's man as king. Imagine the dreams and hopes that Samuel must have had for his nation as Saul began his reign. Then imagine the disappointment that must have come when Samuel realized that Saul would not fully obey God. Instead, he would become self centered and would lead Israel away from God...back down a road that Samuel had worked years to convince the Israelites not to travel.

I Samuel 15:34-35
In 15:34, Samuel and Saul part company. In 15:35, we learn that Samuel never went to see Saul again but that nonetheless, Samuel went to his home and mourned for Saul.
We have all been there. Life takes an unexpected or undesired turn and it hits home. Our marriage ends. Our finances become strained or collapse altogether. An illness is discovered. Death occurs. A hidden sin is revealed. Life wasn't supposed to be like this and it feels like we have been punched in the stomach. Time seems to stand still and accelerate at the same time. We are in pain and we feel alone. Reflexively, we withdraw; and our grief feels as if it will overwhelm us. We become paralyzed.

1 Samuel 16:1
God finds Samuel in his mourning and asks , "How long will you mourn since I have rejected him (Saul) as king over Israel?" Notice that God gave Samuel time to grieve initially. Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us that there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." Mourning is not wrong. God expects us to have emotions including sadness. He created us that way! Matthew 5:4 tells us that those who mourn will be comforted. Isaiah 43: 1-2, 4-5a assures us that God will not allow our circumstances to overwhelm us!
However, just as He reminds Saul that Saul needs to have God's perspective, He expects us to seek His will and to try to look at circumstances from His viewpoint.
In Matthew 11:28 (referenced last week as well) Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.
God gives Saul a job. Likewise, even when we have been buffeted by life, God does not cast us aside. He has a job for you and a job for me. When we are at our lowest moment, we need to seek His will.

I Samuel 16:2-3
Excuses will come. Notice that Samuel initially makes excuses about why he cannot do what God asks. He is fearful of what will happen. What God asks seems to be too much. Likewise, when the Lord initially finds us in our grief and gives us a new job, excuses will flood our mind. "I can't because" will fill our thoughts.
God will support us! In verse 3, God responds to Samuel's excuses. He doesn't chastise Him. He doesn't punish an already grieving man. God assures Samuel that He will show Samuel what to do. God will lead him. He will not abandon Samuel. 1Peter 5: 6-7 tells us to humble ourselves under God's mighty hand that He may lift us up in due time (which of course is just the right time!). We are to cast all our anxiety on Him becasue He cares for us!

1 Samuel 16: 4
We must go. At some point, Samuel got up, filled his horn with oil, and left his home as God instructed. The Bible does not say what his state of mind was at that point. I believe that he was still hurting. However, he was obedient nonetheless. I wonder how many times Samuel thought about pulling the cover over his head on the day of his departure. I wonder how many times Samuel thought of turning around and going back home during the first mile of his journey. I wonder how many times Samuel was ready to quit as he journeyed to anoint yet another man king. When we take the first step forward from our grief, it will be hard. It will initially hurt (remember the Rocky tape showing how hard it was for him the first day of his training. It hurt and he was alone as he ran through the streets). No one can do it for us. We may feel alone. However, at some point we must take the inital step forward.

1 Samuel 16:7
Keep God's perspective. As Samuel looks at Jesse's sons, He begins to see the world around him again. He sees kingly appearing young men and is ready to anoint one king. You can almost feel the hope and excitement returning in Samuel. God reminds Samuel to trust Him because He knows "the real score". Eventually, David is revealed as God's chosen man and as we will learn, He becomes Israel's greatest king. As we emerge from our grief, we often are able to look back and see exactly how God has supported us and cared for us during our hardest times. We become energized and are ready to charge ahead. We need to wait for God during these times and trust His judgement. If we do, He will certainly bring good things our way.

As you pray this week, thank God for understanding your pain, loss, and grief. Thank Him for caring for you and for the assurance that He will raise you up in the due time. Thank Him for being willing to give you a new task and for lovingly moving you forward even when it seems that you don't have the strength for it.

In Love, Mark

Choose God's way...life is better when you do! (Class notes from 9/28/08)

Background passage: 1 Samuel 7: 2 -- 8:22

This week, we are continuing our study of 1 Samuel. Last week, Keith discussed chapter seven focusing on the importance of avoiding idolatry. In chapter seven, we see the Israeli people turn back toward God after a long period of rebellion. As a result, the Philistine rule under which they have been living is lifted. They regain their freedom and their lands are restored. Samuel travels the country on a regular basis as judge of the nation. They are at peace and they are prospeous (chapter 7:13-- 16). However, a problem is looming that leads to uncertainty in the mind of the Israelites...Samuel, there earthly leader, is growing old (chapter 8: 1).

1 Samuel 8: 3 --5

Samuel's sons are corrupt and the elders of Israel become concerned about their future. They have been prosperous and they do not want to lose what they have gained. Therefore, they think that it is best to move away from the priestly leadership that they have followed up to that point and moved to a monarchy, just like the pagan nations that surround them. Notice that instead of relying on God's plan, they begin to follow the model of non--believing people around them. Keep in mind also that it is God's plan for them to eventually have a great King (Jesus). However, their timing is wrong.

At the present time, our country seems to be facing the same type of situation. We have generally been prosperous for a number of years and currently, we seem to be facing increasing corruption and decay. Many of our own class members have been working hard for several years to provide for our families and save for the present/future. We worry about losing what we have gained or stored up (much like the Israelites in Samuel's time). Our job is to seek God's will for us and to trust Him with the outcome. Whose voice and whose example do you find yourself following when trouble seems to be on the horizon? Are you listening to an unsaved financial advisor, following the example of a lost neighbor, seeking help from Oprah, or reading secular self--help books for your answers?

Read Psalms 37:1-- 2. Remember that God is in control of both good and evil men. He makes the rain to fall on both the good and the bad. He raises up governments for His purposes. Praise Him for His power as you go through the day today and commit to following HIM even in uncertain times.

1 Samuel 8: 9-- 19 Samuel reports the request of the Israeli people to the Lord. God instructs Samuel to explain to the people what life will be like under rule of the king that they are requesting. Life will be difficult. A king will take their property, their children, their goods, and will eventually enslave them. Knowing all these things, they ask for a king anyway.

As Christians, we also face a choice. We can use the freedom that we have obtained through our faith in Christ however we choose. God gives us that choice!

Read Galatians 5: 13-- 16. In these verses, Paul encourages us to use our freedom to serve each other in love. He encourages us to follow the teaching and leading of the Holy Spirit. Choosing to follow our own worldly "king" leads to immoral acts (Galatians 5:19--21) and I am sure we can all think of instances where we have travelled down this path. Recall the remorse and pain that you felt along the way (or the guilt afterward). On the other hand, following God's plan and the direction of the Holy Spirit leads to love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self--control (Galatians 5:22). Obviously, these qualities lead to fulfillment and contentment!

Make a commitment today to trust God with your future, even in the face of uncertainty. His way is the best way. He loves us. If he says turn left, it is because it is not in your best interest to go in any other direction. Read Psalm 37 this week. Pay attention especially to verses 3--5, 7-- 8, 18-19, 23-24, 30-31, 34, 37, 39-40.

I love you all and thanks for reading the Sunday School Letter!!