Be A Good Friend!

Background passages 1 Samuel 17-23
Key verses: 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19:1-2, 4-7; 20:41-42; 23:16-18

This week’s lesson focuses on the friendship that Jonathan (King Saul’s son and therefore, prince of Israel) and David shared. In studying their relationship, we can see some of the qualities needed to be a good friend. Check out the entertaining video below set to the Randy Newman song “You’ve got a friend in me.” (Warning: this video scores extremely high on the cuteness scale and will definitely make you want to visit the humane society!).


In 1 Samuel 17, David confronts and slays the Philistine warrior Goliath. Goliath was over 9 feet tall, wore brass armour that weighed 125 pounds and wielded a spear with a shaft weighing 17 lbs and a spear head weighing 15 lbs! He was one big man. Nevertheless, as Israel’s army looked on, David courageously confronted and defeated the giant in the name of the Lord Almighty (17: 45). After meeting with King Saul following his victory, he is met by Jonathan.

1 Samuel 18:1-4
v. 1 Jonathan became one in spirit with David. The best friendships usually have a common interest. In this instance, both men loved the Lord. Jonathan had previously attacked the Philistines against overwhelming odds, having faith that God would give him victory (14:6). Here, Jonathan is deciding that David’s interest will be his interest. David’s desire will be his desire. They will work together toward a single goal and David will set the agenda (as is further evidenced by the gifts that he gives David).

Jonathan loved David as himself. Again, Jonathan will put David first throughout their friendship together. We are to do this habitually as Christians (Mt 22:39; Lk 10: 25-28; Romans 13: 9-10; Gal 5:14; James 2: 8-9) and it is a vital part of having a deep friendship.

v. 3 Jonathan and David made a covenant before the Lord. They valued their relationship and were serious enough about their commitment to each other that they implored God as a witness! We should take our friendships seriously. Are you a fair weather friend? Do other things come before your friends? Do you try to meet their needs only when it is convenient?

v.4 Jonathan gave David his robe (a royal robe) and his military equipment. Remember that at this point, Jonathan is the prince (even though David has been anointed by Samuel). This act is important because Jonathan is symbolically giving David a place of strength and power greater than his own. Jealousy and envy have no place in a good friendship. We should seek to honor our friends and promote their welfare even if it is at our own expense!

1 Samuel 19:1-2 Jonathan learns of his father’s order to kill David and warns David of the plot. He doesn’t just stop there either. He places himself in harms way for his friend.
A good friend will warn of danger. Our first commitment to our friends should be to share the gospel with them. We should warn them of danger if we know of it (wrong decisions that they are on the brink of making, information about children or family that they might find painful but still need to know, etc.). Part of this means holding a friend accountable for improper actions/ behavior. Proverbs 27: 6 says that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Sometimes, the truth hurts but a friend will provide it nonetheless.

1 Samuel 19:1-4
Jonathan defends David against the accusations that the king has made. A friend will defend. When we hear about gossip regarding others, do we join in or stand up for them? Do we stand up even when it could mean danger for us? Jonathan defends David not only in this encounter but also later while he and Saul are eating. During the second meeting, Saul actually tries to kill Jonathan because of Jonathan’s defense of David. Proverbs 16:28 says that a gossip separates close friends. Beware of it!

1 Samuel 20: 41 Here, Jonathan has given David the news that Saul is again angry and seeking to kill David. It is best for David to flee. They weep together. A good friend will feel the pain of the other, weep together, and provide comfort. Jonathan reminds David of their covenant friendship and this certainly must have been comforting to David. How lonely he must have felt as he hid among the rocks waiting for word from Jonathan. How fearful he must have been knowing that the king wanted him dead. Jonathan’s commitment must have helped. We need to express genuine emotion and provide comfort to our friends.

1 Samuel 23: 16-17 A friend provides encouragement. David is running for his life and is hiding in the desert. Jonathan goes to David and “helps him find strength in God.” Certainly, if most of us were in David’s place, our faith would be tried. Perhaps he was beginning to have doubts about God’s providence and protection. Here Jonathan encourages his faith and confidence that God’s plan for David to be king will be fulfilled. Jonathan could not immediately fix David’s present circumstance but he could bolster his friend’s soul. I am reminded of the physician’s prayer in my office (which Robin cross-stitched for me when I finished residency). It says that I will not be able to cure every medical problem that I encounter. However, I should always be able to improve the condition of the patient that I am treating. Sometimes, that improvement is emotional or spiritual. This is the role that Jonathan played here.

We need good Christian friendships in our life. In order to foster them, we should examine our commitment to our friends and not keep a "running tally" of their acts of service toward us. We need to be willing to put their interests above our own when we know that doing so is God’s will (just as Jonathan did). We need to demonstrate a willingness to protect, defend, comfort, and encourage our friends.

Pray for your friends this week and look for tangible ways that you can demonstrate your commitment to them today!